Well, I Was Thinking and
by LibertysGrief
Summary: Winry sat up in bed. 2:36 am. She wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight was she? Maybe if she got few of these questions answered she would, and Ed was just down the hall…


It was 2:17am and Winry still couldn't sleep. Rush Valley and Resembool have an ever so slight time difference, but she doubted that was the problem. Winry wasn't even sure what the problem was. No, that was a lie. She knew exactly what the problem was, and it was sleeping just down the hall from her. The question was how was she going to deal with it?

Edward Elric was this problem in mind, and Winry blamed him for her lack of sleep. Every three months Winry got to take a week off from working at the Auto-Mail shop in Rush Valley to visit Granny Pinako or check up on the boys. Today was that week. It just so happens that Edward and Alphonse stopped in too for repairs. They had originally gone to Rush Valley, but when they found out she wasn't there came right over to Resembool. Edward had grown some more (hard to believe) which would require a brand new leg; and his arm had a few loose screws, but now that it was all fixed he would have to leave again. Leave tomorrow (which was technically today).

This was always the case, and even though she had missed her grandmother a lot over the past three months it was going to be lonely without those boys prowling around the house. Winry remembered that at the shop she would always rush to the phone before anyone else could get there, hoping to hear a familiar voice. And she was always so worried that they might not return again, just like her parents. It shouldn't have been so easy to compare Edward and Alphonse to her parents.

Now, in just a couple of hours they were leaving again. They probably wouldn't come back for a few months. Maybe not ever. She would miss them so much. And it was hard to sleep now! But if the two of them ever stopped searching Alphonse would never get his body back, and Edward… well, in Winry's opinion, there was nothing wrong with the way Edward was. Maybe if he didn't have Auto-Mail anymore he'd stop visiting her completely. Or worse, maybe he'd die. She couldn't possibly go on without seeing his smile every now and then. And Alphonse would be so heartbroken if Edward died…

'But what if Ed did die out there? It's very likely he would too! I'd be tremendously sad because I'd know there was nothing I could do to stop it. But what if there was something I could do to keep either of them from dying? Would I be willing to sacrifice myself if the opportunity were to arise? But then if I died how would Ed feel?'

Then there was the question that would always come about when she was lying sleepless in her bed just like this: 'How do I feel about Ed right now, honestly?' and once again she would find herself trying to dissect her emotions.

"Well, there's friendship, obviously," she said softly to herself." He's my best friend. And with that comes annoyance, humor, and maybe some respect too. He's taken on so much responsibility that he's become a completely different person since the time when we were small. He's grown. Figuratively. But I wonder to what extent is my friendship with Edward? Why do I feel differently about him than I do with Al? We all hung out with each other. Ed and I never did anything without Al around. Naturally they're different in many ways. Al is sweet and kindhearted, and Ed's a little bit hotheaded. I mean, he's kindhearted too, just in different ways. He would never turn down an opportunity to help anyone and he's always done his best to protect the people he cares about, like Al, Granny and me. I know he cares about me. Why wouldn't he? Am I maybe too tomboyish for his taste in girls? When did I start caring about his taste in girls? I'm so confused!!!"

Winry jumped at the volume of her voice and prayed she had not woken anyone while talking to herself. She blushed and rolled over in her bed, staring at the wall.

"Does want to leave tomorrow? Does he miss me when he's gone? Does he ever think about his feelings for me?"

Winry sat up in bed. 2:36 am. She wasn't going to get any sleep tonight unless she got a few of these questions answered, and Ed was just down the hall… but he'd probably get pissed off at her for waking him up. Oh well! She quickly pulled on a bathrobe and slipped silently into the hallway. If he felt tired tomorrow he could just take a nap on the train. He was probably going to do that anyway!

Winry was careful not to disturb Granny Pinako or Al on her trip down the hallway. When she got to Ed's door she didn't knock, but went right on in, careful to shut the door behind her. He was most likely sleeping like a baby anyway, and she was in fact correct. 'Lucky bastard…'

As Winry tip-toed to the side of the bed she couldn't help but notice how peaceful Edward looked in his sleep. She realized that he rarely ever got a break even though he put too much of a strain on himself physically and mentally. She almost left his room and tried to go to sleep on her own. Almost.

"Ed. Ed. Wake up. It's me Winry. Wake up. I have to talk to you." Ed sat up on reflex and looked around groggily.

"Win? What the hell are waking me up for at 3 am in the morning?" he whined.

"I have to talk to you," she retorted dryly. Silence filled the room for what seemed like fifteen minutes.

"Well?" Edward said finally.

"Well… I can't sleep."

Edward sighed. "Sit down Winry." Winry sat. "Okay, what's bothering you?"

Winry looked at him. His hair was falling onto his shoulders in golden waves and he was massaging his temples. He was very attractive. She had noticed it before, and with his hair down he looked so handsome.

"Do you want to leave tomorrow?"

Edward stopped massaging his temples.

"What?"

"Do you want to leave tomorrow?" she said again.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, are you looking forward to it?"

"Well," he said, "yes, because I'm sure Al and I are close to restoring our bodies back to normal." He looked at Winry. "Is that what you wanted to know?"

"Do you miss me when you're away? And Granny?"

"Of course I do Win! What kind question is that?"

"How much?"

"This is ridiculous! Is this all you woke me up for?" Ed looked really irritated. "Dammit Winry, I'm going back to bed! I have a train to catch in the morning!" He turned on his side so he was facing away from her.

Winry hugged her knees to her chin a tried not to let the tears build up. "You're such a jerk Ed! I knew I couldn't talk to you!"

Edward turned over on his bed and glowered at her. "Well maybe you could've if you hadn't woken me up at…!" but he stopped abruptly as soon as he saw tears sliding down Winry's cheeks. She tried to wipe them away but they wouldn't stop. Edward bit his lip.

"Win, don't cry. Please don't cry. I didn't mean it," he said softly. The tone of his voice made Winry snap and she began to shake with uncontrollable sobs. Edward looked away uncomfortably.

"Win, if it really means that much to you I'll stay another day."

"Like it makes any difference!" Winry shouted angrily at him. Edward couldn't look at her, he felt awkward whenever anyone cried in front of him. She wanted to slap him for being so inconsiderate. "You selfish jackass!" she yelled between sobs.

"Hey!" Edward began, but stopped as soon a he started. He turned away and muttered something rude under his breath. This time Winry really did slap him, and it felt so good she did it again, and again, and again, until Edward was on his back and Winry was simply lashing out a random.

"Winry stop! Ow! Stop it! Winry! _STOP!!!_" Edward grabbed both of Winry's wrists and forced her down on her back. She was still crying and it took a lot of strength to hold her down, but he succeeded and made her stay on her back until her sobs had dissipated into little whimpers. Suddenly Winry let out a shriek.

"WHOA! Winry are you okay?" Edward asked.

"NO! Let go of my wrist! _LET GO!!!_" she screamed. Edward let her go and she clutched the wrist that he had been holding in his Auto-Mail arm. When she took her other hand off Edward saw that her wrist was slightly bruised.

"Did I do that?" he said painfully.

"Not on purpose," Winry said half-wincing. "It's funny, really. Physical pain has never made me cry, but when it comes to emotional pain I can't stop. Ed, are you okay?

Edward was leaning on the backboard of the bed looking away from her.

"Ed?" she said again.

"I'm so stupid. I hurt you… my stupid Auto-Mail arm hurt you! So Stupid!" he slammed his metal fist against the nearest wall and when he let it drop back down there was a dent.

"Ed! Cut it out! You're going to bust your Auto-Mail and then I'll have to fix it!"

"I'm sorry Win… I didn't mean to hurt you…"

"Ed, it's okay! I'm fine really. Ed! Look at me!" Winry grabbed both of Edward's shoulders, but he shoved her away. "Ed, what's wrong?"

He laughed sarcastically and shot her a sharp glare. "You really don't get it, do you? You complain about us never being here, but it's not that simple. I've got to be extremely careful around everyone or this arm might hurt them by mistake." Winry glanced at her bruised wrist. "And Al's the same. He can't hug anyone without hurting them. The whole point of our journey is to get our real bodies back so we can get on track with our lives, but right now, Al and I, we've got no one but ourselves."

"That's not true!" she yelled. "You have Granny! And Roy and Riza, Armstrong, and Gracia! And you have me!" Edward watched her with pained eyes.

"Winry… I'm sorry. You just couldn't understand."

"I could try!"

"Winry, it's just…they're…they're emotions Win! I can't explain them!" he said. "It's like asking me to explain why the world turns, or what comes after death!"

'Or how I feel about you…' Winry thought to herself.

Edward put his head in his hands. "Maybe its best if we just go back to bed."

"Not yet."

"Win it's probably past 3 a.m. and I need to catch a train in only a few hours."

"Not yet."

"Winry I…"

"Wait! Please. I need to think." Edward sighed and leaned back on his pillows. He pulled the blankets over him, but Winry didn't move. She was to busy thinking about what Edward had said. 'He's afraid he'll hurt someone with his Auto-Mail.' She touched her wrist gingerly. 'He said he's close to returning to normal. But if he ever did get his body back will he stop coming to see me? What if dies before... And I'll never have told him how much I love him.'

Winry swallowed hard and stole a glance at Edward. His back was turned towards her, and his hair was falling over the pillow. It was so shiny compared to hers, almost like silk. She wouldn't wait for him anymore. She needed to know if he returned her feelings, and it had to be now.

"Edward? Are you still awake?"

"I am now," he grumbled.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"Um… a favor."

"Go on…"

"W-would you… um…uh…" Winry could feel her cheeks get hot.

Edward was sitting up now. "Winry just say it!"

"Would you kiss me?"

"_What!?"_

They were both blushing now. "Y-you heard m-me."

"W-why would you w-want me to do that?"

"Because… what if… what if you don't come back?"

Edward looked away from her. "I… I don't know." Neither of them replied.

"You could consider it a parting gift."

"Winry, you don't want to have your first kiss with me."

"What if I do?"

"You do?" They're cheeks both flamed up again.

"Well, it doesn't really matter, now does it? I'm not one of those girls who've always dreamed of having their first kiss with the guy of their dreams! I'd rather have it with my best friend."

"But-"

"Do you not want to kiss me? Am I unattractive to you in any way?"

"No Winry! You're one of the prettiest girls I know! I couldn't take away your first kiss… I don't deserve you."

"Edward, I'm not asking you to marry me, just kiss me. And as for not deserving me, I think I'm the one who doesn't deserve you." She looked at him and he returned her gaze.

"That's not true."

She turned away from him. "Who cares? If you don't want to kiss me no one's forcing you to."

Edward placed a hand on her cheek and turned her to face him.

"Do you want me to?" he asked.

She stared into his amber eyes and remembered all of the times she had shared with him, from playing with him as kids, to trying to force him to drink his milk. She remembered the exact expression on his face when he declared he was going to become a State Alchemist and the hurtful tone of his voice from just moments before. She had known him all her life and now here they were, sitting on his bed just inches away from each other. Did she really want to kiss Edward Elric?

"Yes."

He placed his lips on hers and she felt and electrifying jolt shoot all the way to her toes. Then a satisfying warmth spread through her body. She could tell he was he was feeling light-headed too because he fell halfway on top of her and had to use his other arm to support himself. Edward tilted her head slightly with his hand, which was now on the back of her head, and deepened the kiss. She felt his tongue graze her bottom lip and she blushed even harder then she already was. She opened her mouth and allowed him access, and he complied without a second thought. Winry felt overwhelmingly dizzy. She still couldn't quite believe Edward Elric's tongue was in her mouth. She felt her arms slipping from under her so she wrapped them around Edward and they fell on top of each other, but never broke the kiss.

Now Edward was lying on top of her and kissing her even more passionately than before. She sank her hands into his hair and intertwined it in her fingers, letting the silky-smooth strands fall all over the place. All of a sudden she let out a tiny yelp. Edward pulled away from her quickly.

"Did I hurt you?" Edward said, still flustered from French kissing his childhood friend.

"No," she said, "I just twisted my wrist."

"Oh," he said. "Winry, I still have to leave in the morning."

"I know."

"But if you want you could sleep with me for the rest of the night."

Winry blushed. "What if Al and Granny find us together?"

Edward pushed himself off of her and grinned. "I'll make sure you don't get involved in any sort of scandal, ok?"

Winry smiled. "Oh Edward, you're such a gentleman!"

"That what all the ladies say." Winry raised her eyebrow. and Edward laughed it off. He lay down in bed and patted the spot next to him.

"Edward, if I said that I loved you would you try not to die on me?"

Edward's eyes widened at the off-handed confession, but he tried not to make a big deal about it. "Oh, um, well if I die I'm certain it won't be on purpose, but if you really meant it I'd do my best to keep from getting into life-threatening situations."

"I'd die for you, you know."

He leaned forward and pulled Winry next to him. Then he kissed he harder than before, and with much more emotion.

"Don't say things like that, Winry. I'd never get over it if I thought I let you die in my place." He let his lips linger before breaking the kiss.

"Promise me you'll come back," she murmured to him as she settled her head in the crook of his neck.

"I promise," he said. "By the way, Winry, I.. err, return you feelings."

"That's nice," she said, pretending to doze off.

"I love you," he muttered. Winry didn't say anything in an attempt to convince him she was already long gone to dream land, but on the inside she was happier beyond words.


End file.
